These past few days, I have been kinda depressed over something or maybe over nothing. I have been feeling down since last week. Feeling down to the point that I eat more and more everyday and crave for sleep so much. The problem is that I can't sleep early. If ever I sleep early, there is a tendency that I will wake up in the middle of the night and find it a hard time to sleep again. I have this small hunch that the reason for all of this is my depression is my tendency not to accept the reality not until the day comes that the event presented itself.
Emotional baggage is too much for me right now. Without knowing it, I already thinking about what the future may bring, the usual pressure I undertake and everything else. Can't actually believe that I lived my life under pressure. Maybe because from the start I have been a good girl and excels well in school. All of them expected me to be like that throughout my life. One mistake almost causes them severe disappointment. But I can't do anything about that, I can only act as if I don't know what happened so that I won't be sad.
I'm not talking to my mother right now. I think that is one reason why I'm feeling so down. I just don't like it when they pass on the blame to other people when in fact I'm the one who should take the blame. So right now, I'm making kulit with my father about some trivial things every now and then. I bet when he sees me, he will scold for doing that. hahaha!
In all honesty, I don't want to discuss what is the core problem. I just don't have anyone to talk to. On the other hand, I don't want to bother my twin/best friend about these things since I know she have a series of problems of her own. Well, I'm a considerate bitch after all. hahaha
Since I just want a remembrance that I have a problem just like this in the midst of thinking what to wear for my graduation pictorial, I think I will leave some clues.
And lastly, the video.
I just wish I can watch. Hay life parang buhay! :(
Till next time!
Ciao! :)
No comments:
Post a Comment